I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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