Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
