had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize