Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
