I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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