I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
