so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
wow bdsm is so cute
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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