And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
