Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
