i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize