i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
