You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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