Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
