Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize