We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
