you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
