Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
