I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
