He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
