I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
