we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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