he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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