Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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