hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
