haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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