Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
