Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
