Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
