we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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