How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
