So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
