Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
