Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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