I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
