FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
