dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
