I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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