I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
it's like heaven, but drunker
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
