her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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