Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Randomize
