It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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