went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You need Xanax blowdarts
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
