Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
