I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
