I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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