she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
