Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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