allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
