The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
