You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
