All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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