after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
