Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I have post one night stand depression
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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