and she was petting her beer can
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
