I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
