508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you had me at cake vodka
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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