Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
