I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
