we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
FUCK WHALES
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
