ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
