If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Randomize
