Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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