Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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