i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
