my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
