smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
