my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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