If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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