Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
